The Dark Side

The novelty of self isolation is wearing off. Everyday, since we were told by the Government to stay at home, I wake up and remind myself that I am one of the lucky ones. 

But my heart goes out to those who are less fortunate. Those in confined spaces with a violent partner, those with loved ones who have lost their jobs or been furloughed, those with close relatives who live on their own but who they cannot visit, those with young children who are trying to keep them occupied as they work from home, those who are worried about trying to make ends meet pay the mortgage and the school fees, those who have existing health concerns for whom getting sick is literally a matter of life and death. It does not take much imagination to see how awful this time is for so many.

There is growing evidence that being confined in a tight space can lead to violence.  Family members who are in danger of domestic abuse now have nowhere to go. They are in lock down - and stuck - friends and colleagues won’t give them refuge; they need to protect their own loved ones first before helping others.

Most people, before now, could escape from their violent tendencies or unpleasant partners by getting out - down the pub, dinners with business colleagues or clients, and spend days away on business. On average people spend between 2 to 3 hours with their partners every day - this has now been extended to all day and all night and most escape routes have now been cut off.

But the difficulties are not limited to those with physically abusive family members. Numerous families have young children at home - many are expected to home educate, keep the children amused without being allowed to play with friends, forbidden to see ‘granny’ for fear of contagion and with a real worry as to whether the interruption to their education will affect their later career.

And it does not stop there.

A review of the psychological effects of quarantine was published on 14th March in the Lancet, a Medical Journal. It indicates that the symptoms of isolation for a lengthy period can be as severe as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with hyper-vigilance, flashbacks, and nightmares which can last for years.

One study which looked at the impact of SARS found that those who were quarantined for more than 10 days were significantly more likely to display symptoms of PTSD than those confined for less than 10 days. There is also an increased risk of OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder.

How many times do you wash your hands, clean surfaces not touched by human hands, obsess about whose hands were on the shopping trolley last, worried as to how well you would cope with the disease, Covid-19, or how well your loved ones would cope? Mental illness is not something most of us like to think about but there will be many for whom worry will interfere with normal life; they will literally be - ‘worried sick’.

I have had personal experience of isolation and its nasty effects - although I cannot remember most of it. The day after I was born, while still in the hospital I contracted salmonella, a violent vomiting disease which makes it hard to get proper nourishment. In those dark, distant days the best medical advice was to isolate the baby - me, to stop the spread of the disease to my sister, then 18 months. I was left to cry myself to sleep, desperately wanting food and comfort - but none was forthcoming. In due course, I simply stopped crying - no-one was listening.

Since then numerous studies have shown that a new born baby needs the physical warmth and touch of a parent with whom it can feel safe to form bonds, which are essential for relationships in later life and social interaction. I was in hospital, in self isolation, for four months before I was considered sufficiently safe from salmonella to be allowed home. For years thereafter my mother worried about my chronic shyness, I was fearful of any stranger, but I was young and eventually grew out of it.


Studies also show that isolation and worry increase the sales of alcohol. According to Nielson, a market research firm, alcohol sales have increased by two-thirds in the week to 21st March compared with 2019. Alcohol numbs the boredom and the worry.

Others have lost their jobs and have financial worries. In normal circumstances, they would find another job, sell the home, move abroad, flog the family silver or part with some paintings - most of these options have now disappeared. It won’t be long before we see desperate people doing desperate things; things they would not have imagined if the situation were normal.

Adrian Waterman QC is a criminal barrister, he is our Podcast Professional of the week. We have all done something in our lives that we regret, but most of the time - it is not too bad or we do not get caught.  But if you or a loved one is pushed too far some will do something desperate that they would not do in normal circumstances - whether physical abuse, theft, fraud or worse. Barristers like Adrian Waterman QC cannot make events go away,  but they can improve the perception that what happened was understandable and not as bad as it may appear.

Next week is Easter, a time to celebrate Spring; new beginnings and the passing of Winter. I will spend my extra days writing the book which is currently in my head ‘A Culture of Care’.

At some time normality will be resumed, but when it does we should not go back to our bad habits. Many of us during this time of lockdown may wish to reflect on why we do what we do, how we do it, who for, how we could do it better and how we could be more joyful, less stressed and make more money.

From my observation over many decades of office work and jumping on aeroplanes, much of our time is spent with a ‘Mindset of Id’, rather than a ‘Culture of Care’ - but more about this in future newsletters.

If you would to find out more about our Podcast Professionals or would like to join our project to create the definitive podcast library of information for the UHNW community contact deborah@garnhamfos.com or call 020 3740 7423.

Keep safe, keep strong and keep well.